Getting married doesn't instantly make you selfless ... it makes you realize how very selfish you can be at times.
Getting married doesn't make you feel loved ... it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.
Getting married doesn't take away loneliness ... it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it, but rather when you give it to another person.
Getting married doesn't make you feel loved ... it makes you realize love is more of a decision you make than a feeling you feel.
Getting married doesn't take away loneliness ... it makes you realize true companionship comes not when you demand it, but rather when you give it to another person.
Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone. You see them when they’re mad, sad, being stubborn, when they’re so unlovable they make you scream. But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their face, and they can’t help but let out those weird gurgling noises.
You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you’re eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. Its snorting while laughing, its the tears when it feels like its all crashing down, its the farting, its the bedhead and bad breath, its the random dances, its the anger and the joy.
Marriage isn’t a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It’s knowing that someone loves you so much, and won’t leave you even though you said something nasty. It’s having someone have your back no matter what. Its fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it’s those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them. It’s cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they’re sick. It’s the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is.
Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know. Marriage is not beautiful, but it’s one heaven of a ride. ❤️
(Instagram - caitlinfladager)
You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you’re eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. Its snorting while laughing, its the tears when it feels like its all crashing down, its the farting, its the bedhead and bad breath, its the random dances, its the anger and the joy.
Marriage isn’t a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It’s knowing that someone loves you so much, and won’t leave you even though you said something nasty. It’s having someone have your back no matter what. Its fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it’s those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them. It’s cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they’re sick. It’s the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is.
Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know. Marriage is not beautiful, but it’s one heaven of a ride. ❤️
(Instagram - caitlinfladager)
Marriage Destroyer: Lack of Good Models
1) Many did not have a good marriage role model growing up.
2) Many do not have such a model today.
3) Most receive little or no instruction about marriage before getting married.
4) Unless they seek it out, few receive marriage instruction or help after they get married.
5) Most of what we know of marriage comes from bad examples and the media’s twisted version of marriage.
6) Many look down on those who seek help for their marriages.
Is it any wonder marriages are such a mess?
Marriage is not easy, and there is no sane reason to think we can just learn it on the fly. If you have never had marriage coaching, you are attempting something complex with no instruction. Even if you eventually get most of it right, you are in for a good deal of unnecessary frustration along the way.
If you are fairly newly married and/or still have some problems, please seek help.
There is no shame in asking for help! On the contrary, it shows wisdom and maturity. Books and blogs are fine, but they cannot take the place of face-to-face contact with a marriage mentor. Find someone you think has a good marriage you want to emulate, and ask beg him to mentor you. Meet weekly and talk about marriage. Be honest about your struggles, and ask questions. Ask for prayer and accountability. If you and your wife both do this, the results will be even better. My suggestion is to find a couple to meet with the two of you separately as often as once a week, and all four of you monthly. Build a relationship and let them bless your marriage. I advise you give them permission to share with each other what they hear from each of you, giving them a better picture of your marriage.
If your marriage is not on the verge of disaster, meeting with a solid couple can do amazing things
1) Many did not have a good marriage role model growing up.
2) Many do not have such a model today.
3) Most receive little or no instruction about marriage before getting married.
4) Unless they seek it out, few receive marriage instruction or help after they get married.
5) Most of what we know of marriage comes from bad examples and the media’s twisted version of marriage.
6) Many look down on those who seek help for their marriages.
Is it any wonder marriages are such a mess?
Marriage is not easy, and there is no sane reason to think we can just learn it on the fly. If you have never had marriage coaching, you are attempting something complex with no instruction. Even if you eventually get most of it right, you are in for a good deal of unnecessary frustration along the way.
If you are fairly newly married and/or still have some problems, please seek help.
There is no shame in asking for help! On the contrary, it shows wisdom and maturity. Books and blogs are fine, but they cannot take the place of face-to-face contact with a marriage mentor. Find someone you think has a good marriage you want to emulate, and ask beg him to mentor you. Meet weekly and talk about marriage. Be honest about your struggles, and ask questions. Ask for prayer and accountability. If you and your wife both do this, the results will be even better. My suggestion is to find a couple to meet with the two of you separately as often as once a week, and all four of you monthly. Build a relationship and let them bless your marriage. I advise you give them permission to share with each other what they hear from each of you, giving them a better picture of your marriage.
If your marriage is not on the verge of disaster, meeting with a solid couple can do amazing things
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