Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
\n“Like, me sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.
\nMy "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
\nShe was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and join something.
\nI did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
\nI e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
\nShe replied, "Mother, are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?”
\nI told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
\nShe immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”
\nI calmly replied, "Oh my, I think I'm in real trouble then, because I signed up for five jumps a week!!”
\nThe line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
\nLife as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be real fun.
\nJust because you're "Young" doesn't mean
\nthat you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
\nRemember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like
\nbeing old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off
\n“Like, me sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.
\nMy "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
\nShe was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and join something.
\nI did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
\nI e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
\nShe replied, "Mother, are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?”
\nI told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
\nShe immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”
\nI calmly replied, "Oh my, I think I'm in real trouble then, because I signed up for five jumps a week!!”
\nThe line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
\nLife as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be real fun.
\nJust because you're "Young" doesn't mean
\nthat you can outsmart an "old Geezer"
\nRemember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like
\nbeing old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
\nThe woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
\n
\nThe young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
\n
\nThe older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
\nBack then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
\n
\nGrocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.
\nWe walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
\n
\nBut she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
\n
\nBack then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
\n
\nBut that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
\nBack then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
\n
\nBut she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
\n
\nWe drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
\n
\nBut we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
\n
\nBack then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
\n
\nBut isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
\n
\nPlease forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.
\n
\nWe don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.
\nThe woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
\n
\nThe young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
\n
\nThe older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
\nBack then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
\n
\nGrocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.
\nWe walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
\n
\nBut she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
\n
\nBack then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
\n
\nBut that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
\nBack then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
\n
\nBut she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
\n
\nWe drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
\n
\nBut we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
\n
\nBack then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
\n
\nBut isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
\n
\nPlease forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.
\n
\nWe don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.
Haha!! Never take age as a sign of ignorance!!
A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman was just selling the car they had been looking at only a couple of hours earlier to a cute little blonde who was wearing quite a short skirt and a sexy top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we checked our finances to make sure we had the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $48,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was absolutely no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go, Dad" she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price.
........... Once again.... don't mess with seniors.
A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman was just selling the car they had been looking at only a couple of hours earlier to a cute little blonde who was wearing quite a short skirt and a sexy top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we checked our finances to make sure we had the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $48,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was absolutely no way you could discount this model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go, Dad" she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price.
........... Once again.... don't mess with seniors.
TERMS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE:
https://www.gohealthinsurance.com/blog/coverage/entry/health_insurance_dictionary
https://www.gohealthinsurance.com/blog/coverage/entry/health_insurance_dictionary
http://www.aging.ca.gov/programs/
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dfta/html/services/centers.shtml
https://www.usa.gov/retirement
https://www.eldercaredirectory.org/federal.htm
http://www.hospicepatients.org/hospic55seniors-links.html
https://seniorcenter.us/
https://www.seniorresourcesinc.org/about-us
http://www.nyc.gov/html/dfta/html/services/centers.shtml
https://www.usa.gov/retirement
https://www.eldercaredirectory.org/federal.htm
http://www.hospicepatients.org/hospic55seniors-links.html
https://seniorcenter.us/
https://www.seniorresourcesinc.org/about-us
HEALTH CARE RESOURCE:
http://www.commonwealthfund.org/
http://www.commonwealthfund.org/
http://www.aging.ny.gov/ResourceGuide/ResourceGuide2012.pdf
SENIORS: SURVIVAL/PREPAREDNESS/DISASTER RESOURCES:
https://www.shtfpreparedness.com/over-4000-free-survival-handbooks-pdfs/
https://www.shtfpreparedness.com/over-4000-free-survival-handbooks-pdfs/
Seniors/Retirement Info:
https://www.prudential.com/links/contact-us
https://www.prudential.com/links/contact-us
SENIOR CITIZENS:
http://apexbraincenters.com/brain-training/who-benefits/addiction-recovery-alternatives/
http://apexbraincenters.com/brain-training/who-benefits/addiction-recovery-alternatives/
SENIORS: INSURANCE INFORMATION:
http://clark.com/insurance/direct-primary-care-could-offer-a-solution-to/?ecmp=clarkhoward_social_facebook_sfp
http://clark.com/insurance/direct-primary-care-could-offer-a-solution-to/?ecmp=clarkhoward_social_facebook_sfp
SENIOR CITIZEN: RETIREMENT RESOURCES:
https://m.soundcloud.com/healthrhythms/transitioning-empowerment-based-retirement
https://m.soundcloud.com/healthrhythms/transitioning-empowerment-based-retirement